Pause-Ponder-Pray

About 10 years ago, I did a workshop for my church on the power of our words because it had occurred to me or actually God had shown me in Scripture how we have the power to either bring life or bring death by our words. We can hurt someone very seriously, or we can hurt ourselves through the words we speak carelessly. So, I incorporated this revelation into my workshop and used it with all the participants.

It went over really well, and we all began to use those steps to help stop hurtful words before they even left our lips. We ended up putting it on a poster in our church, and it's on the wall in the sanctuary to this very day. I still have people tell me how using these steps has saved them from speaking words they would have regretted later.

I have come so close many times to ruining relationships just by being offended and reacting immediately. You know how those human emotions will just come over us and we're instantly offended. We begin to analyze something someone said or did, and we get angry. It has taken a great deal of practice and self-control. I don't always succeed, guys, I'm growing too. God is not through with me yet, so we are going through this journey together as we learn and grow.

Much more often now, I am successful in remembering to pause—ponder—and pray before I act or react. I've told the Lord many times, “Oh God thank you for helping me “dodge a bullet!” That little golden nugget He gave me many years ago to stop­­–think about it–pray about it before we ever decide how to respond.

Another vital point to remember is we are all susceptible to being influenced by outside forces. You know the enemy may not be able to read our minds, but he is the Prince of power of the air, and he can certainly put thoughts into our heads. Sometimes we open our mouths and those thoughts come right out. Have you ever walked up to someone you were a little offended by and confronted them saying something like, “You said so-and-so the other day, and I just want to know what you meant by that?” Then only to have them tell you they didn't say it. Yes? Well, don't be offended by their answer. They probably don't remember saying it because the words were put in their head by the Prince of the power of the air. Understanding this makes it much easier to show grace in these instances.

If we need to have one of those tough conversations with someone or even when someone out of the blue walks up to us and says something hurtful, remember we need to look past the person and really think about where their comment might have come from. Sometimes the enemy will use an innocent bystander to get to you. This is another powerful reason to pause and ponder and pray before we open our mouths. Not long ago, someone I cared deeply for said something very hurtful to me. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to retaliate. However, not long after, the same person was back to being the very loving and kind as I had always known them to be. It was then I knew they had been used to trigger a negative emotion in me which would have damaged our relationship. I was so very thankful to have this strategy to use to control my reaction.

So, learn to deactivate those triggers before they discharge and destroy relationships. Remember, the enemy comes only to kill, steal, and destroy. Let’s stop him in his tracks!